


The Together Breakfast Group Chat

by cfdorky



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Amethyst is a little shit, Artist Lapis Lazuli, Boxer Bismuth, Boxer Garnet, Boxer Jasper, Breakfast Club References, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Enemies to Friends, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Fencer Pearl, Fighty Gems, Friendship, Group chat, Hijinks & Shenanigans, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just having fun with it., LGBTQ Themes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Peridot is a little shit, Sassy Gems, Some Plot, Summer School, Tags May Change, Teacher Rose Quartz, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unrequited Love, chat fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:00:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24241711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cfdorky/pseuds/cfdorky
Summary: Every school had its trouble makers. Its problem students. At Keystone Prep, students that fall into this category are forced into remedial classes during summer break. The classes are meant to improve the students grades, but also foster friendships that will hopefully help keep the students out of trouble. Rose Universe, a teacher at Keystone had been having trouble getting her class to form bonds. But then she got a very interesting idea.UniversalRose: I made a group chat for us!Buff: yBuff: we all hate each otherAnExperience: We don’t all hate each otherBuff: i fuckin hate youAnExperience: the feeling is mutualIt was a decent plan. Too bad Rose underestimated just how… weird her students were. And what their lives were like outside of school...
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Rose Quartz/Greg Universe
Comments: 13
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. There is a serious lack of Group Chat fics out there. And that goes double for Steven Universe Group Chat fics.
> 
> *puts on infinity gauntlet* Fine I'll do it myself.
> 
> Things are gonna start out messy and wacky as the Gems... eccentric personalities clash. Things will get more serious as they begin to bond and become friends.
> 
> I'm open to suggestions for what weird and wild scenarios for them to experience, so please give your thoughts in the comments.
> 
> Real Quick, Names. Just in case.
> 
> Rose - UniversalRose  
> Pearl - Pearl  
> Garnet - AnExperience  
> Amethyst - Dumbsterbaby  
> Peridot - Pdot  
> Jasper - Buff  
> Lapis - W4terW1tch  
> Bismuth - letsgetdowntoBismuth

_UniversalRose added Pearl, Dumbsterbaby, AnExperience, W4terW1tch, Pdot, Buff and letsgetdowntoBismuth to the chat!_

UniversalRose: hello everyone!

_(W4terW1tch has left the chat)_

AnExperience: what

Dumbsterbaby: the fuck is this

Pearl: Watch your language!

Dumbsterbaby: fuck no

AnExperience: Mrs. Universe please tell me this is not what I think it is.

UniversalRose: I made a group chat for us!

Buff: y

Buff: we all hate each other

AnExperience: We don’t _all_ hate each other

Buff: i fuckin hate you

AnExperience: the feeling is mutual

Pdot: most of us hate each other

UniversalRose: I was discussing ways to help the students in remedial classes bond over breakfast with holly blue

UniversalRose: and my husband was thereand he suggested ths

letsgetdowntoBismuth: this could be fun

Pdot: oh my god what the fuck is you're user name

Pearl: I don’t think this is a good idea.

Pdot: 4 once i agree with beanstalk

letsgetdowntoBismuth: what are talking about tiny? Who is beanstalk?

Pdot: TINY!

AnExperience: to be fair you are barely four feet tall

Dumbsterbaby: drag her

Pdot: at least my hair doesn’t look like a shitty tie dye

Dumbsterbaby: oop

letsgetdowntoBismuth: r you talking about me

Pdot: who else has the damn pride flag for hair

letsgetdowntoBismuth: tread lightly _tiny_

Pearl: Rose, this is just going to lead to more fighting.

Buff: it’s weird you're on a first name basis with our teacher

Pearl: Why is that weird???

Dumbsterbaby: dont even bother Jas 

UniversalRose: Im sorry pearl but its mandatory. We are to have a conversation every day. any student that doesn’t participate will have their parents notified and an extra 3 hours of homework assigned to you for every day you miss. 

Buff: jesus. that’s excessive 

Pdot: Only Keystone fucking Prep would make texting people you hate mandatory

Pearl: Language!

UniversalRose: hat is a strong word

Dumbsterbaby: hat

Buff: hat 

letsgetdowntoBismuth: hat

Pearl: hate*

Pearl: Honestly, how hard is it to type four letters?

Dumbsterbaby: wow

Buff: you exist as a person and I hat it

Pearl: hate*

_UniversalRose added W4terW1tch to the chat!_

_(W4terW1tch has left the chat)_

_UniversalRose added W4terW1tch to the chat!_

_(W4terW1tch has left the chat)_

_UniversalRose added W4terW1tch to the chat!_

_(W4terW1tch has left the chat)_

_UniversalRose added W4terW1tch to the chat!_

_(W4terW1tch has left the chat)_

_UniversalRose added W4terW1tch to the chat!_

Pdot: scroll up you clod!

Dumbsterbaby: you can’t leave dumbass

Pearl: Participation is mandatory, Lapis.

AnExperience:^^^^

_(W4terW1tch has left the chat)_

_UniversalRose added W4terW1tch to the chat!_

W4terW1tch: i hate this fucking school

Pearl: Language!

W4terW1tch: fuck you

Dumbsterbaby: hat*

Pearl: hate*

Pearl: How, Amethyst?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: jesus

AnExperience: this is not going to end well

letsgetdowntoBismuth: I take back what I said. This isn’t gonna be fun at all

Dumbsterbaby: oh this is guna become a shitshow

Buff: it already is

UniversalRose: come on! this is a good thing! We can use this to help get to know each other better

W4terW1tch: i can promise that i have never wanted to know you people 

Pdot: the entire goal of my summer vacation was to avoid as much human interaction as possible

Pdot: between this shit and remedial classes my summer is ruined

letsgetdowntoBismuth: good

Dumbsterbaby: suffer with us Pdot 

Pdot: do I have a choice

UniversalRose: no

Pearl: no

AnExperience: you could risk the punishment

Pdot: no I really can’t my mother would end me.

Dumbsterbaby: aww it’s not so bad dippindot. we can watch this shit show together.

Pdot: wonderful


	2. The Assignment and the Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which shit goes from zero to 100 in about five seconds, the Shorty Squad is a vessel for chaos and the craziest member of the group isn’t who you’re expecting. Or maybe it’s exactly who you’re expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2. Did I mention that these children are a bit.... nuts? 
> 
> Get used to this kind of shit.
> 
> Names just in case.  
> Rose - UniversalRose  
> Pearl - Pearl  
> Garnet -AnExperience  
> Amethyst - Dumbsterbaby  
> Jasper - Buff  
> Peridot - Pdot  
> Lapis - W4terW1tch  
> Bismuth - letsgetdowntoBismuth

Dumbsterbaby: So like if I get on a train that leaves the station at 10:00am and travel due south at a speed of 60 _ km/h. _

Pearl: ?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: The hell?

Pdot: And I am on a train that has been heading due west at 45 _ km/h _ and reaches the same station at 11:00am.

Dumbsterbaby: at what time were we the closest together

Pdot: please tell us. This information is pivotal

letsgetdowntoBismuth: to what?

Dumbsterbaby: To every aspect of my life Bismuth. I  _ need _ to know this

Pdot: it is very important. Why else would we be learning it?

Dumbsterbaby: this is more important than any other skill I will ever learn.

Pdot: I am so glad im learning how to solve problems like this instead of how to do taxes

AnExperience: you two are ridiculous

Dumbsterbaby: we need to know! Im gonna need this all the time in real life.

Pdot: don’t forget. Its preferable to solve this using derivatives.

Dumbsterbaby: oh yes. Never forget to use derivatives.

Pearl: Are you to being serious?

UniversalRose: Do you have questions about the math homework Amethyst? Peridot?

Dumbsterbaby: no. just mocking the questions

Pdot: it ain’t much. But its honest work

Buff: I have a question about the assignment

UniversalRose: wonderful. I’m all ears.

Buff: why the fuck is it so hard?

Pearl: Language! That is no way to talk to a teacher!

Buff: Fuck you

Pearl: Excuse me? 

Buff: I said what I said

letsgetdowntoBismuth: Yeah and if you know whats good for you, you will take it back

UniversalRose: students please. Jasper what problem are you having trouble with.

Pearl: Bismuth, don’t stoop to her level

Buff: pussy

UniversalRose: Jasper

Pdot: Buff vs Buff who will win

AnExperience: Don’t encourage them

Buff: please do. I will happily kick the Pride Flags ass

letsgetdowntoBismuth: WHERE R U

Dumbsterbaby: Fish Stew. we are getting pizza

AnExperience: And there she goes

Dumbsterbaby: Wait srsly?

AnExperience: We live on the same street. I just saw her get in her car.

Pearl: Bismuth don’t!

UniversalRose: No fighting. Not unless you both want extra homework.

AnExperience: she is going back to her house.

W4terW1tch: pus E

letsgetdowntoBismuth: Fuck it. 

AnExperience: aaand now she’s backing out of her driveway

Pearl: Lapis! Stop instigating. 

W4terW1tch: why? Its fun.

W4terW1tch: I even made it PG for you.

W4terW1tch: not harming anyone

AnExperience: Yes, pissing off two of the three boxers in our group. No harm done at all.

W4terW1tch: thanks for agreeing with me.

Dumbsterbaby: jeez. All I wanted to do was meme the homework. 

Pdot: ikr. These hoes messy

W4terW1tch: buff hoes

Pearl: Please stop using such inappropriate language.

W4terW1tch: make me bitch

Pearl: Who do you think you're talking to?

W4terW1tch: a messy hoe

UniversalRose: Oh dear… I’d better stop her before she gets to her car.

Dumbsterbaby: seriously?! What happened to not stooping to other peoples level?

UniversalRose: pearl is not good at following her own advice 

W4terW1tch: let her come. Not like skinny bitch can do anything

UniversalRose: Lapis, you will be receiving extra homework.

W4terW1tch: worth it

AnExperience: oh my god

Dumbsterbaby: lord. This is gonna be our whole summer aint it

Pdot: see what youve done Mrs. Universe?

Dumbsterbaby: I wonder if we can survive an entire summer with these fighty gremlins

AnExperience: doubt it.

Pdot: you would.

AnExperience: …

AnExperience: do you have something to say to me? 

Pdot: Nope. Nothing at all

AnExperience: good.

Pdot: goggles.

letsgetdowntoBismuth: Yo wtf Garnet!

AnExperience: sorry

Dumbsterbaby: ?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: She nearly rear ended me and then just kept driving

Pdot: oh fuck

Dumbsterbaby: run peri

W4terW1tch: dead woman

UniversalRose: Garnet! I will tell sapphire

AnExperience: …

AnExperience: … fine. The dorito lives.

Buff: I’m still waiting for my fight

W4terW1tch: so am I

letsgetdowntoBismuth: fuck you Zebra Stripes. Pearls right you aren’t worth it. Im going home

Buff: the fuck did you call me?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: I said what I said.

W4terW1tch: but I brought popcorn

Pdot: so did I

Dumbsterbaby: wow. They really came

letsgetdowntoBismuth: really?

Dumbsterbaby: yup they got a table and everything.

Pdot: it would have been internet gold

W4terW1tch: *sad world star noises*

AnExperience: you two are horrible

Dumbsterbaby: we are all horrible

UniversalRose: None of you are horrible.

UniversalRose: but Lapis you should probably run.

W4terW1tch: ? tf.

W4terW1tch: y

  
  


UniversalRose: i couldnt catch her

Pdot: holy shit!

AnExperience: what?

W4terW1tch: shit shit shit shit shit shit

letsgetdowntoBismuth: wut!?

Buff: Bean stock just rolled up with a  _ sword _

Dumbsterbaby: shes chasing Lapis down the street.

Buff: and Tiny just took off to record them

letsgetdowntoBismuth: where did she get a sword!

AnExperience: fencer remember?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: okay. But no. lapis wouldnt be scared of a practice sword. Not enought to run away 

Dumbsterbaby: it aint a practice sword

UniversalRose: pearl collects antique swords

Pdot: this is amazing! I cant wait to post this

Pdot: I cant believe lapis threw a chair at her to get a head start. 

Buff: how r u texting and recording?

Pdot: two fones

AnExperience: I feel like you should try to stop pearl

UniversalRose: Please do! I am on my way!

Pdot: like hell im getting any closer to stabby mc stab

Dumbsterbaby: she wouldn’t actually stab lapis… would she?

UniversalRose: someone please make sure pearl does not get arrested

Buff: by who? Mayor dewey?

UniversalRose: whoever stops her gets an A on all assignments for the next week

Dumbsterbaby: oh wow. That was amazing

AnExperience: what was?

Dumbsterbaby: I have never seen Jasper run so fast

letsgetdowntoBismuth: of course.

AnExperience: all of this because of amethyst and peridot dumb joke.

Dumbsterbaby: hey don’t blame me. All i’ve done is text and eat pizza

letsgetdowntoBismuth: and somehow that was enough

W4terW1tch: somebody help. I managed to lose her in funland. But I can see her stalking. Hunting.

Pearl: Apologize and you live

W4terW1tch: my life isn’t worth my self respect. Ill die as i lived

Pearl: crying

letsgetdowntoBismuth: brooding?

W4terW1tch: fuck yall im about to die!

Dumbsterbaby: what do u want? A speech?

Pdot: you brought this on yourself

AnExperience: don’t move. Just hide andstay quiet

letsgetdowntoBismuth: since when is Pearl a horror movie villain

Dumbsterbaby: right around the time Rose let her leave the house with a fucking sword

Pearl: Language.

Dumbsterbaby: !!! Really!

letsgetdowntoBismuth: wow

AnExperience: Pearl don’t kill Lapis

Pdot: did you think you would ever have to say that sentence?

AnExperience: yes.

Pdot: lmao

W4terW1tch: ok seriously. Rose come get you're bird! She is imapling potential hiding places. It could be me soon!

Dumbsterbaby: hehe. It don’t bite

W4terW1tch: no t just has a SWORD! who tf brings a sword to a fight. wtf is wrong with pearl!

Dumbsterbaby: stab stab. 

Pdot: stab stab

Pearl: where are you lazuuayeid3ouh

Pdot: HOLy

Dumbsterbaby: I am so glad I caught up in time to see that

AnExperience: what happened

Dumbsterbaby: Jasper just tackled Pearl

W4terW1tch: Im saved

letsgetdowntoBismuth: Is pearl okay!

Pdot: shes fine. But she ain’t happy.

Dumbsterbaby: squwaking like a parrot

letsgetdowntoBismuth: Christ….

letsgetdowntoBismuth: we really are messy

AnExperience: understatement of the century


	3. The Porn and the Burrito

Pearl: Rose!

Pearl: vussuihsiufed

UniversalRose: pearl?

AnExperience: ah shit

Buff: here we go again

AnExperience: please refrain from memeing with me

AnExperience: we are not friends

Buff: suck my weewee

Pearl: Peridotuhdjoeiqu

Pdot: dont listen to her lies!

Pearl: Peridot brought pornography to class!

Pdot: you lying whore!

Dumbsterbaby: oooooh. What kind

Buff: what kind

AnExperience: you two are disgusting

letsgetdowntoBismuth: I kinda wanna know tho

Pdot: Its just manga you clod!

UniversalRose: Peridot

Pdot: it aint porn i swear!!

Pearl: There are several scantily clad women.

Pdot: its not

Pearl: Their undergarments are shown multiple times.

Dumbsterbaby: sounds like porn

Pdot: MANGA

UniversalRose: Peridot

Pdot: pls teach! You have to believe me.

Pdot: pls dont take it away

UniversalRose: ? why would i do that?

UniversalRose: i just wanted to know what kind of manga you like to read

UniversalRose: Greg prefers shonen and I like horror

UniversalRose: what about you?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: ….

AnExperience: of course. Makes perfect sense...

Pearl: Rose?!

Dumbsterbaby: fuckin horror?

Buff: why does that make a strange sort of sense.

W4terW1tch: its always the sugary sweet ones you gotta watch 

Dumbsterbaby: I thought it was the quiet ones?

W4terW1tch: no garnet is relatively normal

AnExperience: thank you?

Pdot: shojo 

UniversalRose: oooh how fun

Buff: our teacher is secret nerd. Lame

letsgetdowntoBismuth: secret horror nerd

Dumbsterbaby: grosss

Pdot: fuck you. Just means Mrs. u is more cultured I thought

UniversalRose: it’s not really a secret. actually I was going to start a club for it

UniversalRose: but holly blue shot me down

Pdot: !

Pdot: damn that she devil!

Buff: fucker! Manga belongs to everyone !

Dumbsterbaby: ?

AnExperience: Jasper you just said that manga is lame

Buff: I know what I said. And normally I’d stand by that

Buff: but if holly blue doesn’t like it then I must support it on principle

Dumbsterbaby: fair. She’s a bitch

Pearl: Language!

Buff: fuck holly blue

UniversalRose: she’s not that bad…

Pearl: Rose, while I would never call Mrs. Agate out of her name, I must admit that she is a bit overly strict.

Pdot: says the girl who just blew a gasket over an up skirt shot

AnExperience: they aren’t wrong. Mrs agate sucks

letsgetdowntoBismuth: she gave me a detention for bumping into her once

Buff: and my hatred grows

Dumbsterbaby: all of my sisters were in her summer class

Dumbsterbaby: I have never seen them so miserable and i was there for the Great Burrito debacle 

W4terW1tch: okay the fuck is the great burrito debacle

Buff: oh god don’t remind me

letsgetdowntoBismuth: you know about this as well?

Buff: so much suffering

AnExperience: ??

Buff: I thought I knew hardship. But I was wrong 

Dumbsterbaby: so this one time my sisters ate a five month old breakfast burrito we found in the back of my mini fridge

Pdot: good lord

AnExperience: amazing how i instantly know where this goes and am still intrigued

W4terW1tch: ^^

Dumbsterbaby: they were all fine for like five hours

Dumbsterbaby: then they all started puking their guts out

Pdot: morons

letsgetdowntoBismuth: wtf is wrong with ur family

Dumbsterbaby: in ther defense the thing was only a little moldy

AnExperience: gross

UniversalRose: this is very alarming

Pearl: Why in the world would they do something so foul?

Dumbsterbaby: It was on a dare

Dumbsterbaby: I blame Jasper

Buff: nah nah nah dont pin that shit on me

Dumbsterbaby: fuck you. there are exactly four bathrooms in my home and only three of them have toilets.

Dumbsterbaby: two of them are next to my room

Dumbsterbaby: i heard them puking in my dreams bitch

Pdot: jesus h

AnExperience: honestly this isn’t surprising

letsgetdowntoBismuth: yeah. Gross? yes but this is amethysts family were talking about

UniversalRose: girls its not very kind to mock peoples family

Buff: nah teach, ame and her family are slobs

Pearl: I’m surprised you didn’t partake in the dare as well, Amethyst.

Dumbsterbaby: oh I did

Buff: she did

AnExperience: … and you didn’t get sick?

Dumbsterbaby: nope

Pdot: how tf

Dumbsterbaby: i told you it was only a little moldy

letsgetdowntoBismuth: you are disgusting

Dumbsterbaby: ay fuck off. A dares a dare. Plus it didnt even taste bad

Pdot: …

AnExperience: ….

Buff: a legend

Pearl: Sometimes you really do scare me, Amethyst.


	4. The Project and the Gum

Buff: im gonna fucking kill you lazuli

UniversalRose: oh no

W4terW1tch: do it

UniversalRose: not again

letsgetdowntoBismuth: again?!

Pearl: Jasper, while I can empathize, you probably shouldn’t.

W4terW1tch: pussy no balls

Pdot: lol. Accurate?

Pearl: Nevermind. I saw nothing. Do what you want Jasper.

AnExperience: tf ghappening now?

Pdot: ghappening

Dumbsterbaby: ghappening

Dumbsterbaby: also. Jas what has you're dumbbells in a twist

Buff: lapis is a fucking slob

W4terW1tch: offense

W4terW1tch: I am no such thing

Buff: the hell you aren’t 

Buff: if I have to pick your garbage out of my carpet one more time I’m gonna strangle you 

Pdot: jeez

W4terW1tch: kinky

AnExperience: I feel like there’s a spongebob meme somewhere in here

Dumbsterbaby: does that make Jas the strangler?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: what are you two talking about

Dumbsterbaby: if you know you know

Pearl: Why was Lapis at your home in the first place?

UniversalRose: for the projects no?

Pdot: yep

Pearl: When were projects assigned?

Dumbsterbaby: two weeks ago

AnExperience: the week you were out sick

Pearl: Oh. Rose why didn’t you tell me they were working on projects.

UniversalRose: i didn’t want you to feel obligated to grade them. you already help enough

Pearl: That's so sweet of you Rose. You're always so thoughtful.

Dumbsterbaby: gag me

AnExperience: subtle

Pearl: But as you're teaching assistant it’s my job to lessen  _ your  _ workload.

Buff: Mrs . U tell lapis to fucking pick up after herself 

W4terW1tch: lies and slander

Buff: stop leaving gum and your weird cigarettes in my carpet!

letsgetdowntoBismuth: gross

Dumbsterbaby: ew wtf

UniversalRose: oh my

AnExperience: lapis you smoke?

UniversalRose: Lapis you smoke?

W4terW1tch: no

Buff: YES

W4terW1tch: shes lying

Pdot: okay no. as the other member of you group of the project I must call bull shit

W4terW1tch: stfu

Pdot: fuck u. u have blown smoke in my face too manny times

letsgetdowntoBismuth: whos manny

Pdot: im not playing these games!

letsgetdowntoBismuth: OH. I love that guy!

Pdot: same. The dish soap videos are the funniest

letsgetdowntoBismuth: you have good taste tiny

Pdot: But of course

Pdot: also stop calling me that

AnExperience: Wouldn’t have pegged you as the type to smoke lapis

Dumbsterbaby: or leave chewed gum lying around 

W4terW1tch: I dont chew the gum

Buff: she admits !

W4terW1tch: shit

Buff: red handed bitch

Dumbsterbaby: ???

Pearl: You don’t chew the gum?

UniversalRose: what do you mean you don’t chew the gum

Pdot: i feel like you should focus on the smoking thing mrs. u

letsgetdowntoBismuth: no the gum thing is more pressing

Buff: ive been picking bits and pieces of broken up ginger gum stick out of my carpet for two fucking weeks

AnExperience: okay, yeah forget the smoking. what the hell is wrong with you lapis.

letsgetdowntoBismuth: who even? Why even

Dumbsterbaby: that's some serial killer shit

W4terW1tch: no comment

Buff: oh hell no!

Dumbsterbaby: omfg

Pdot: i am dying

Buff: i saved you from getting impaled! Explain!   
  


Pearl: For the last time I wasn’t actually going to stab her!

UniversalRose: its not right to lie pearl.

letsgetdowntoBismuth: damn

W4terW1tch: its just gum not that big a deal

AnExperience: I am so intrigued now

UniversalRose: this is very strange lapis

Pearl: Why are you like this, Lazuli?

W4terW1tch: dont worry about it

W4terW1tch: ill stop

Dumbsterbaby: wait no. dont just dodge the questions

Dumbsterbaby: the reason why is one thousand times more interesting than the fact that you are doing it

AnExperience: yes tell us why were you doing it 

W4terW1tch: doing what

AnExperience: the thing with the gum?

W4terW1tch: tf is gum

letsgetdowntoBismuth: fucking hell

Pdot: well she at least said she’d stop.

Buff: will you stop smoking in my home too?

W4terW1tch: its for anxiety 

Buff: bull!

W4terW1tch: i have a card that proves it

Buff: how!

Dumbsterbaby: omg its weed

letsgetdowntoBismuth: oh that's just foul

AnExperience: if she did that at my home my parents would kill me

Pdot: my mother would hang me by my eye balls

W4terW1tch: kinky

letsgetdowntoBismuth: no it aint

Buff: i aint got those, but it still stinks 

letsgetdowntoBismuth: eyes?

Pearl: Don’t have what?

Pdot: parents

W4terW1tch: rents

Dumbsterbaby: jas is emancipated 

Pearl: Oh?

AnExperience: really? y?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: why

Buff: why dont u mind you're own goddamn buisness 

letsgetdowntoBismuth: what the

letsgetdowntoBismuth: you're the one who brought it up you bitch!

Pdot: just answer the question

AnExperience: its not that serious

Dumbsterbaby: Lay off she doesnt have to tell you anything

UniversalRose: that is true. Leave Jasper alone

UniversalRose: and Lapis stop smoking in her home. She works hard to pay for it and its disrespectful of you do that there

W4terW1tch: fuck that. I do what i want

Pearl: Stop smoking in her home, it's a basic courtesy! And listen to Rose, she is our teacher!

W4terW1tch: i wont smoke at you're place any more Jasper

Pdot: wow

Dumbsterbaby: damn. That was a quick turn around

letsgetdowntoBismuth: ha!

AnExperience: *whip crack*

UniversalRose: thank you pearl :)

AnExperience: I guess the sword thing taught lapis a lesson

B; yeah, don’t fuck with McStab

W4terW1tch: fuck both of you

Pearl: Rude. 

W4terW1tch: im sorry

Dumbsterbaby: lol

Pdot: is it wrong to laugh at her?

Buff: no

letsgetdowntoBismuth: nah

Pearl: It’s fine.

W4terW1tch: she threatened me with a fucking sword! Yes its wrong to laugh

Buff: counter point you smoke weed in my home

Pdot: and blow the smoke in my face

Buff: and leave ginger gum on my floor   
  


W4terW1tch: I said I’d stop! Damn

UniversalRose: that's enough girls. I think lapis understands you're frustrations

UniversalRose: But you all really should apologize to her. Especially you Pearl.

AnExperience: sorry lapis

Pdot: sorry i guess

Dumbsterbaby: ^^

Pearl: .. I suppose I did go a bit too far. I apologize, Lapis.

Buff: I saved you that's your sorry

W4terW1tch: you guys are assholes

Buff: says the girl who purposefully scatters gum in other peoples homes

Dumbsterbaby: maybe we’re all assholes

AnExperience: more accurate

letsgetdowntoBismuth: wait

letsgetdowntoBismuth: jasper what flavor was the gum?

Buff: ginger

letsgetdowntoBismuth: right okay…

Pdot: ??

Buff: ?

Dumbsterbaby: what does that have to do with anything

letsgetdowntoBismuth: if the gum wasn’t chewed it wouldnt smell. So the only way to know the flavor…

AnExperience: i am going to hurl

Pearl: Oh. Jasper please tell me you didn’t.

UniversalRose: Jasper that can’t be healthy

Dumbsterbaby: jas you animal XD

Buff: I wanted to know the flavor! What if it was significant!

Pdot: so you chewed floor gum?!

Dumbsterbaby: jas that's pretty gross. And that's comin from me

Buff: WHY! My floors are clean

AnExperience: no. if what you say is true you're floors are covered in blunts and chewing gum

W4terW1tch: and she calls me a slob

Buff: IM gonna murder you

W4terW1tch: you said that already 


	5. The Ride and the Pride

**_~1:45 AM~_ **

_ Buff is typing… _

_ Buff is typing… _

_ Buff is typing… _

UniversalRose: is there something you need jasper?

Pdot: ?

AnExperience: jasper didnt say anything

Pearl: She has been typing and deleting messages for a while now.

Dumbsterbaby: You good Jas?

_ Buff is typing… _

Buff: I need a ride.

UniversalRose: Oh?

Pearl: What?

Buff: I need a ride home.

AnExperience: y?

_ Buff is typing… _

_ Buff is typing… _

Buff: i just need a ride. y is irrelevant

Pdot: ooooo punchy girl knows big wurds

Buff: fuck you

Pdot: what position?

Pearl: Could you not just call a Wuber?

Buff: every time I order one out here they cancel

Dumbsterbaby: where are you Jas?

_ Buff is typing… _

Buff: ocean town

AnExperience:: !?

Dumbsterbaby: wtf 

Pdot: nani!?

Buff: miss me with that weeb shit

UniversalRose: jasper why are you two towns away

Buff: i was at concert with some friends

  
  
  


Pdot: yes and?

Buff: and that's it

Buff: is someone gonna come get me or not?

Buff: ame?

Dumbsterbaby: my sisters have the car dude

Buff: mrs. U

UniversalRose: Oh stars. Steven crashed the dondai last weekend

UniversalRose: Greg has the van, he was on his way to Keystone for business. I am going to call him but he may not be back for a couple of hours

Buff: fuuuuuuuuuck

Buff: anyone else?

Buff: garnet? I know you have a car

AnExperience: my mothers would never let me out this late

Buff: but you do have a car?

AnExperience: my former statement was an excuse, i do not like you or care for your well being

UniversalRose: Garnet!

Pdot: damn that's cold even for you goggles

Dumbsterbaby: what the fuck G

AnExperience: it was a joke…

Dumbsterbaby: oh

AnExperience: who do you think I am? lapis?

W4terW1tch: 凸( • • )凸

Buff: wtf

Buff: i could die out here by myself you bitch

W4terW1tch: oh no… how pressing

AnExperience: you're a seven one boxer, i doubt it

AnExperience: my mothers took the car on a trip to empire city. they wont be back for a week

AnExperience: despite my dislike of you i would come get you if i could

Buff: you have a fucked up since of humor

Pearl: Sense.

Buff: the amount of care have for spell rn is smaller than peridot

Pdot: what the hell I didnt do anything

Dumbsterbaby: no you're just small

AnExperience: this is true

Pdot: fuck you all

Pdot: Also I dont have a car

Pearl: I have a car.

Dumbsterbaby: why didn’t you say so earlier?

Pearl: I was hoping someone else would offer.

Buff: wow fuck you

Pdot: wait cant we just call a Wuber for her?

UniversalRose: that's a great idea peridt! 

UniversalRose: where are you in ocean town? I’ll call a driverfor you

_ Buff is typing… _

_ Buff is typing… _

Buff: okay so… i kinda dont actually know where i am…

Dumbsterbaby: WHAT

Pdot: what does that even mean

AnExperience: the hell?

Buff: don’t blame me! Its not my fault they left me out in the middle of fucking nowhere

AnExperience: they?

Buff: look im on some road leading out of ocean town. that's all i know. 

Buff: Oh here hills and corn fields too if that helps at all

UniversalRose: I’m so sorry Jasper, greg wont be back for another five hours.

Buff: damn

Buff: oh lord

Buff: is the beanstalk really my only option?

Pearl: … It was.

Pearl: But if you’d rather walk.

Buff: i would

Dumbsterbaby: damn

AnExperience: so you arent that concerned about your safety 

Buff: id rather get mugged then owe her a favor

Pearl: Wow. Alright, have fun walking home.

**~ten minutes later~**

Buff: i take it back pearl please come get me

Pearl: Hmm. Don’t you have a mugger to look out for?

Dumbsterbaby: drag her

Buff: Ames!

Dumbsterbaby: sorry force of habit!

Buff: im sorry for what i said please come get me

Pearl: I don’t know if I can move, my back is still pretty sore after being tackled by some brute on a boardwalk.

Buff: you have no right to be mad about that!

Pdot: you really dont

W4terW1tch: ^^

AnExperience: are you really not going to help her?

UniversalRose: Pearl.

Pearl: Don’t fret. I was only teasing. I’m already in my car and on my way.

UniversalRose: thank you

**~ten more minutes later~**

Pearl: my car broke down

Buff: GOD Fucking Dammit

W4terW1tch: XD

W4terW1tch: XD

W4terW1tch: XD

Dumbsterbaby: dude not cool

Buff: fuck off and go get high you ass

W4terW1tch: XD

Pdot: what god did you piss off jasper?

UniversalRose: are you okay pearl?

Pearl: I’m fine. I called a tow truck, but they won’t arrive for a few hours. 

Dumbsterbaby: where’d you break down?

Pearl: About half a mile, past the ‘Now Leaving Beach City’ sign.

Dumbsterbaby: k. be careful. I heard there was a fight somewhere out around their a few nights ago

Pearl: Don’t worry I have a sword with me.

Pdot: I can’t tell if that's a joke or not

Pearl: It is not.

Pdot: right

Pearl: Sorry, Jasper. You're just going to have to wait for Rose.

Buff: FUYCK

**~ one hour later~**

letsgetdowntoBismuth: why did i jus wake up to over fifty messages

Pdot: where the hell have you been?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: sleeping?

AnExperience: scroll up, jasper is in a bit of a predicament

  
  
  


letsgetdowntoBismuth: this is fucking comedy

Buff: fuck off pride flag

UniversalRose: please refrain from teasing her

letsgetdowntoBismuth: with how much shit she gives everyone else?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: honestly you kinda deserve this

UniversalRose: Bismuth

Buff: fuck you

letsgetdowntoBismuth: big bad jasper slummin of the side of the road

Dumbsterbaby: YO, chill the fuck out Bismuth

letsgetdowntoBismuth: how’d you even get stuck out there?

letsgetdowntoBismuth: i knew you were dumb but damn

Pearl: Bismuth!

UniversalRose: Bismuth that is enough!

_ Buff is typing… _

Buff: my friends ditched me

Buff: i toldem something secret and they flipped out and left me out here. literally kicked me out of the van 

_ letsgetdowntoBismuth is typing… _

_ Dumbsterbaby is typing… _

UniversalRose: I’m sorry that happened to you Jasper

UniversalRose: I wish you would’ve said something earlier

Pearl: Agreed. 

AnExperience: are you alright?

Buff: you mean aside from my pride and besides the fact that I’m sitting in the middle of but fuck nowhere?

Buff: no. 

Dumbsterbaby: you told them the thing didn’t you

Buff: yes

Dumbsterbaby: bastards

Pdot: what thing

Dumbsterbaby: none of your fucking business

Pdot: what the hell did i do!?

_ Dumbsterbaby is typing.. _

Dumbsterbaby: nothing. Sorry. Just dont pry

Pdot: okay… damn

W4terW1tch: what were your friends' names?

AnExperience: does it matter?

Buff: why does it matter to you?

W4terW1tch: i wanna meet them lol

Dumbsterbaby: go fuck you're self Mioir

Pdot: not the time lapis

_ W4terW1tch is typing… _

_ W4terW1tch was kicked from the chat by UniversalRose. _

Buff: god i fucking hate her

UniversalRose: That's enough of that.

UniversalRose: It is late. No more texting in this chat tonight.

UniversalRose: Jasper, please wait just a little longer, Greg and I will be there soon.

Buff: okay

UniversalRose: Good. Good night everyone.

  
  


**~3:45 AM~**

Buff: uh… You don’t need to get me Rose.’

Buff: im all good.

UniversalRose: what?

Pearl: What happened? Did someone driving by give you a ride?

Buff: Actually. Bismuth came and got me.

UniversalRose: Oh?

AnExperience: really.

Buff: Yup.

Buff: were at Pepe’s rn. shes ording so she cant talk rn

Dumbsterbaby: did she apologies for being a dick

UniversalRose: Amethyst please

Buff: ye.. we talked. Its all good

Dumbsterbaby: good

Buff: she knows now btw

Dumbsterbaby: fr? You sure that's a good idea?

Buff: yeah. Everythings fine.

Dumbsterbaby: if your sure…

Pearl: You’re

Dumbsterbaby: Fuck off

Pdot: whats with you and correcting grammar at randon times?

Pearl: You all do it so often that it would be exhausting to do it every time you made an error. 

AnExperience: why do i feel like that's you’re elaborate way to say your fucking with us.

Pearl: Your* and You're*

UniversalRose: i thought I told you all to go to bed.

Pdot: actually ‘mom’ you just said to stop texting in the chat.

UniversalRose: so you admit you are still disobeying what i said to do?

Dumbsterbaby: come on mrs. u. You knew we would right?

UniversalRose: perhaps.

letsgetdowntoBismuth: update. I have retrieved a buff zebra am currently trying to tame it with cheese burgers

Dumbsterbaby: youll have better luck with fries

letsgetdowntoBismuth: noted.

letsgetdowntoBismuth: secondary note, i have just watched a human being eat a double decker in three bites. I am afraid. Please help.

AnExperience: how is that even possible jasper?

Dumbsterbaby: that's nothing! I’ve seen her finish a pizza in less than two minutes.

Buff: a girl needs her carbs

Pearl: Are you headed back now? 

letsgetdowntoBismuth: yes.

Buff: did your tow truck come?

Pearl: Yes! I had to leave my car at the repair shop, but the truck driver was kind enough to give me a ride home.

Buff: kool

UniversalRose: thank you for going to get her Bismuth. 

Buff: i already said thank you

Pdot: liar

Buff: okay I just said thank you dick

UniversalRose: now that i know yor okay jasper im going to go to be

UniversalRose: but if anything else happens don’t hesitate to call me

Dumbsterbaby: we tuckered her out yall

Pearl: I don’t blame her. You all are a handful.

Dumbsterbaby: pot casually said to kettle

AnExperience: we did warn her. we’re messy

Pdot: no garnet. we have evolved.

Pdot: messy wasnt good enough

Pdot: we have transended mess

Pearl: Transcended*

Pdot: fuck off

Pdot: we have transended mess

Pdot: messy ass hoes shudder in our presence.

_ AnExperience is typing… _

_ Pearl is typing… _

_ Dumbsterbaby is typing... _

_ Buff is typing... _

AnExperience: wtf are you on

Dumbsterbaby: are you fucking high?

Pearl: Okay. I’m going to bed. I’m glad you're getting home safely, Jasper.

AnExperience: ^^

Buff: thanks. Bismuth says you have issue Tiny

Buff: Ill talk to you later ames

Dumbsterbaby: ok.

Pdot: Nothing. No. Goodnight. Fuck yall my name ain’t tiny.

Dumbsterbaby: Are you sure

Pdot: Yes.

Dumbsterbaby: Positive?

Pdot: oml

Dumbsterbaby: Absolutely sure?

Pdot: imma need you to go ahead and log off for me

Dumbsterbaby: Are you sure you're sure you're sure about being sure you're sure?

Pdot: go to bed Amethyst

Dumbsterbaby: sure thing

Dumbsterbaby: goodnight tiny

Pdot: god dammit


End file.
